Unfortunately, people throw the word narcissism around too easily, resulting in it being inaccurately attached to people that maybe just have a really healthy sense of self. People who love and admire themselves, appreciate themselves and protect themselves - but who are still nothing like a narcissist.
Vanity is defined as excessive self-love. This means you really love yourself.... a lot. A vain person may simply be objective to their own perceived great qualities. They may find themselves to be pretty, sexy, interesting, worthy and lovable.
But vanity is not narcissism. It is not a dangerous clinical disorder. It’s just self-admiration. It can definitely come off as prideful and might not win one many friends, yet is harmless.
Vain people are often still loving, giving and deeply empathetic people.
Narcissists cannot be these things. They are nearly never these things. In fact, they loathe these qualities. These qualities make the narcissist feel vulnerable and weak. They find those qualities in other people pathetic – yet prey upon those very same tendencies for their own survival - as they often don’t like to work.
So before labeling someone a narcissist, remember, you are diagnosing them with a mental disorder - and that's a serious thing. If you feel confident that the person meets the DSM-V characteristics of narcissist personality disorder, consider seriously how they are affecting your life and what kind of help you might guide them toward. Protect yourself.
However, if the person is just self-loving, even vain, even proud, maybe just let them be. We let celebrities do it, in fact, we encourage them to do it with our attention and admiration energy.
It’s always a positive when someone recognizes another’s beauty and greatness, even if it’s you, recognizing your own!
Not everybody understands that narcissism is a clinical, mental health disorder. True narcissists are legitimately dangerous people who, without therapeutic psycho-analysis and ongoing support, cannot control their illness.
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